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This is a pseudo-transcript (actual words modified to be more readable than a 100% faithful transcription) of a short lightning talk I did at Twitter a year or two ago, on pitfalls of how we use latency metrics (with the actual service names anonymized per a comms request). Since this presentation, significant progress has been made on this on the infra side, so the situation is much improved over what was presented, but I think this is still relevant since, from talking to folks at peer compani...